The Bachelor: Season 23, Episode 5 – Tied Up in Thailand

 

Though this episode of The Bachelor contained surprisingly few puns, it will not stop me from taking advantage! So, tied up in Thailand it is. (Someone had to do it – that someone is me!)

Meanwhile, Colton continues to emerge as a fairly entertaining lead – something I definitely was not expecting from our cornfed former NFL pro. He’s willing to give it his all – including taking “Never Been Kissed” Heather on a date. Will it end in her first lip-to-lip contact? Will she ever stop “umming” and moaning? Will she find her bra? This poor gal – she’s waaaaay behind the curve when it comes to dating. Especially awkward, given that she’s on a show about dating! How do these things happen?

It’s fair to say Elyse has been in love before, and that her sights are set on Colton. All the more awkward that she’s also on a show about dating, which includes other women falling for “her man.” Not sure how this eventuality escaped Elyse, but here she is in this very episode, asking for Colton’s exclusive attention. Girl – fire your assistant because he/she forget to deliver the memo!

Caelynn and Hannah B. have put their beauty queen beef to rest and Onyeka has decided to pick up where they left off, targeting Nicole with military precision. Will these two get voted off the island? All this and more, available in my MovieBoozer recap for you right now! xo

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