This week is all about finding out where the Final Four are from. Yep, it’s time for Hometowns with a side dish of drama. Follow along as Arie slings his d across the country. Oh, and he toasts with weiners, in Wiener. I dare you to find something more meta than that. Want to find out more? Don’t delay – my MovieBoozer recap is up now!
Welcome, folks! The Bachelor cast is in Tuscany for this installment and god damn does it have me feeling wildly jealous. Not of the drama, or the potential shot at getting boned by Arie. No, no – I am here to feast my eyes on the rolling hills of Italy. I am seriously considering maxing out my credit card and booking a trip, post-haste. But for now, I’ll just cook a bowl of pasta and settle down. Sigh!
In the meantime, quell your travel angst with my recap, up at Movieboozer now!
Arie, just livin’ the dream. [Photo Credit]
This week The Bachelor is in Paris, and god damn if I’m not jealous as all get out. Of getting to be in the City of Light, not the scantily clad women. But hey, to each his or her own! Arie wastes no time in making sure these gals shimmy in their skivvies, because that is the mate selection process in this day and age. Who will shake their tail feather to earn time alone with this champ, and who will have to leave their elaborate headdress on the stage? Check out my MovieBoozer recap to find out, right here!
Deep thoughts with Arie Luyendyk Jr. [Photo Credit]
A 36-year old man looking for a wife. A 22-year old hottie who refuses to play it safe. A trek through the woods. Urine in jars and bugs for breakfast. What could possibly go wrong? A lot! Warm up those scrolling fingers – it’s the fourth episode of The Bachelor. My wild and woolly recap is up at MovieBoozer now!
What sort of ham-fisted fuckery is this? Sexist dreck that drags you through two hours of molasses while a selfish man gets to fuck around until he decides to go grab his girl. Fuck that noise. However, on the upside, the most painful movies to watch are the most fun to write about, so there’s that! My film review is up at MovieBoozer for your reading pleasure!
What a bunch of bitches! And the ladies aren’t bad either. My recaps are delightfully miles beyond these terrible puns – trust. Check out my latest column at MovieBoozer and see for yourself. xo
Arie is ready to race for your heart! (It’s right there – I couldn’t resist.) My recap of the thrill ride that is episode two is up at MovieBoozer now!
Cheers to me, judging you! [Photo Credit]
The road to love is paved with chicks – at least if you’re Arie Luyendyk Jr., the 22nd white male Bachelor to have a bevy of beauties stashed in a mansion for him to choose from. And I’ve landed my dream job recapping and live-tweeting it all! I just want to take you to bed, patriarchy, and cuddle you like the life-size body pillow you are.
The first episode is always the most boring – consisting of a recap of who this man is (rich, handsome, sensitive, and ready for marriage!), followed by an hour+ of limo exits. Hey, we’ve all got to get our Instagram-sponsored starts somewhere! Read my recap at MovieBoozer here, and follow my real-time tweets here. Cheers!
Here it is – the first day of background_peeps, the Instagram account celebrating all the (often hilarious) action happening in the background, beyond the main frame. Life – sometimes you’re the movie star… and sometimes you’re the emaciated part-time model handing out water at an awards show. Oh, how I’ve longed to create this little side project! I happen to be trapped in an apartment during a winter storm warning, so now seems like as good a time as any to pay tribute to the people who help make the fun happen. Enjoy – I know I’m going to! xo